I just returned from the beautiful city of Benin, Nigeria, where I had gone- finding a missing link. On my return, I got a message to kindly review General Adeyinka Adeniran’s Finding The Missing Link. Imagining the coincidence, I wished I read the book before taking on this emotive journey. I would have been armed with some fresh revelations. The book is scripturally, spiritually and emotionally hallmarked.
I had only scheduled a day to read the book, but I couldn’t just drop this finely printed book until I fed my eyes with its content. It is a book you’ll hold in your hands and everybody around you would ask to see what book it is. America people and fine-fine things sha. But shockingly, the version I have was printed here in Nigeria. The cover is graced with a design that is not unnecessarily noisy but I am not too sure if the typography was editorially administered. Nonetheless, it is a likeable book.
Unfortunately, I have not been sensationally attracted to books on relationship. I have never read one to a finish as they struggle for space on my reading table, and authors of such books are quick to judge my type, when they hear of the failed relationships we’ve had. It’s ok. Nevertheless, ratiocinating on this very sensitive issue, it should be established that the realism in an experimental knowledge is too relevant to be obliterated. I have asked if the author is married, and the answer was, ‘about to.’ It was difficult for me to agree with a book written on relationship, by a man who is only married to an imaginary wife- just like me. And I thought the book may be plagued with fallacious stuffs, contently lacking in experience. However, it is noteworthy that Finding The Missing Link is the first book on this theme that I’ve read cover to cover- and I join other people to congratulate myself. I didn’t finish the book because of the reviewing mandate somehow hanging around my fingers, rather every flip of a page got interesting and held me, perusing. The reader starts to wonder if the author has not been married for decades. He wrote as if he is speaking, and when he hits some crucial points, the reader hums and nods, agreeing with the sincerity of the point. We should applaud the meticulousness. Then, one is reminded that this book was written in accordance with a spiritual guidance.
The author introduces you to the book this way;
“Life is all about findings. Findings are an act of acknowledgement, the act of discovery of that unique purpose inherent in our being, the act that dispels error and negates fate as an ultimate force over will. Findings are purposeful acts that bring light into obscurity.
Many years back, as I thought of finding the right person that God has ordained for me, I began to read different books and to seek advice from elders. I remember one uncle said marriage was all about luck. He said partners are like gift packages, you don’t know what’s inside them until you bring them home. He said the human mind is so complex and that trying to successfully unravel it was a waste of time. Perhaps you are the kind of person that, like that my uncle, believes in luck as the supreme determinant of destiny, then this book would do a mighty good job of persuading you out of that notion. This book negates the unrealistic approaches that could expose people to, and is indeed one of the bedrocks of marital failure. Marriage is not about luck. Marriage is a purposeful action that requires adequate findings. Committing to the marital vow is one of the most expensive decisions to be made in life- an important decision that we cannot afford to take with levity.
Findings are progressive approach that brings knowledge into play. Throughout this book, I have attempted to show the various progressive steps that would help us in our findings. From family to identity to friendship to maturity, the gradual but intentional purpose is to enable you fully be prepared to successfully handle the sacred institution of marriage.”
Quickly see this line, “, I have attempted to show the various progressive steps that would help US (the author inclusive) in our findings.”
And then this, “the gradual but intentional purpose is to enable YOU (author not inclusive) fully be prepared to successfully handle the sacred institution of marriage.”
In my rather baseless but humorous analysis, I simply concluded that the author is still finding and thusly says ‘US’ in that line. And in the following line that is to prepare us for marriage, he pulls himself out when he now says ‘YOU.’ It simply means that General is ready for marriage; he is just still searching for that woman. Therefore, it is advisable for you ladies here to make yuasef findable, especially for the author!
- Publisher: Sprintermedia
- Number of pages: 144
- Number of Chapters: 5
- Chapter 1: Find Family Before Relationship
- Chapter 2: Find Self Identity Before Relationship
- Chapter 3: Find Friendship Before Relationship
- Chapter 4: Find Maturity Before Romantic Relationship
- Chapter 5: Findings Of The Right Partner.
While I was on the first chapter, this statement knocked my head, “Trying to search for a perfect family is a waste of time because you won’t find any family that is perfect.” Pg 20. I have always chased babes that are from the aristocratic family, but as events naturally unfold, my thinking changed. Adeyinka has written well. The illustrating-graphics and the typesetting have a sheer similarity with Reverend Sam Adeyemi’s books. This book will really help build a solid relationship, if the principles inside are applied. Please try and get a copy, especially if you are still single.
I really enjoyed this part:
“This Christian sister in a conversation with me exerted that she could never marry a ‘bro’, meaning a typical Christian brother! I asked her to describe how a ‘bro’ looks like? Without thinking, she pointed at me! I almost dashed myself to the ground. You mean I am not romantic? Yes, she replied. Then I became bemused. I decided to press further, Sister, can you please describe what’s wrong with a bro?
“Bro Yinka, you know what I’m talking about.” But I didn’t really know what she meant and I wanted to find out so I told her so. “OK, Bro Yinka, I will go further if you want me to tell you. You see, the ‘bros’ are the ones you always see on the school prayer mountain. They pray 24/7 looking for miracles. You will hardly see them at social meetings and the only chorus they know is the gospel of Christ. Some of them, not you o, Bro Yinka, don’t have more than three shirts. One for Sunday service, one for Bible Study, and the last one for classes. You will hardly see them polish their shoes and their shoes always cry for Kiwi! Some of the ‘bros’ armpits stench with algae, and yet they are not ashamed to raise their hands in the air. The colors of their dresses are either green or red, and the strips that lace their shirts are like rainbow colors you would think they are Joseph and his coat of many colors reincarnated.”
I wouldn’t agree more with the sister.
The book is closed with two beautiful poems; When Things Fell Apart and Her Bone, Her Flesh, Her Soul. These closing poems added a literary flavor to the book.
fEMIoWOLABI is an engineer and a writer based in Abuja. To read this post on his blog Please click