I find no imagery apt to render my feelings
Why is there no colour to paint my suffering?
A continuous churning deep down my tummy
Feeling like a feeling that needs attending
It feels like love, then hate
Or more like the love I never had
The room I’m in;
Through which the door I never passed
I write to vomit this gloom inside of me
Yet I feel my mind moping
Moping at how ineffective my words
Had dispatched its sorrows
Tears shadowed by the falling rain
Making a perfect mix of faux love
Life would have been a lot easier without love…
Life without love would have been a rot
But if i may ask, why bring together
That which you would never accommodate
Why light a fire that was never made to burn
Why create a smile that would only make one cry
These are questions I never meant to ask
Naught for my pen’s ineptitude to ferry my heart’s twinge
Festal dance on broken bottles
Feigned happiness on broken hearts
How much blood from my breaking heart
Would satiate the flames of your waging tongue
How many more do I sacrifice?
To cross this crossroads of love and no love
I feel too pained to keep my pen upright
Not at the thought of a beloved
Cause there never was one
All were just the ink to fuel the pen of this injured poet.
I weep but not with my eyes
I feel my heart drowning
In the tears of my mind
Where the rain would never wash away its drib
These are not words
On these pages I engrave my heart
Blemished by the use of words
Chipping away edges of my feelings
Never making it whole and never leaving it alone.
I lay down my pen now
With hopes I might pick it up again
With another tear in my heart
I write the words of my bleeding heart.
Ajijola Habeeb Bodunrin is a graduate of economics from the university of Ilorin, and currently an MSc. Economics candidate at the University of Lagos; A content manager and graphics designer. He is a passionate story teller and poet who employs creative literary elements to communicate real and pressing issues in an enjoyable way through poems and stories. He was a participant at the British Council's writers workshop for Young Adult fiction and also the British council poetry workshop during the Lagos Books and Arts festival 2014. He has an unpublished collection titled ‘Whispers of Truth’.