MAYBE - a Poem by Kalejaye Folajimi

I speak my heart to the winds
to carry my agonizing message
to the ears of none but one
has the wind betrayed me?

I am HIV positive
so text me sympathies
lie to me
tell me nothing has changed and nothing will
tell me we are friends and we will remain

act like you really care
I keep mute because the oddity of my disease
 denies me the openness to say

Maybe

may be it was my fault maybe not
maybe I never made love
maybe I have never done drugs
maybe it was my latest tattoo that reads I love Jesus
maybe it was from the haircut or the knife cut I had Last month
maybe it was the pin that drove itself into my feet
or the blood transferred into me while I was sick.

just maybe.

Admit you don't care because you reject all I share
your beautiful hug bid me farewell
you veil yourself and blame the cold
Seperated your things on the alter of orderliness
just after my test your belongings became personal.

maybe I won't wake up in the morning
but before I leave hear the blatant truth
I am not dying of the virus
I am dying of the stigma you displayed to my face
just admit that you don't care
cause all I need is care.


***




Kalejaye Folajimi is a Student of Communication and Language Arts, University of Ibadan. Aside Poetry, he does Public speaking. But his poems are usually Love poems, God's Eulogy (Oriki) and poems that negate societal ills. He hopes to use poetry as a weapon to fight the menace of child abuse in Nigeria.

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